


What's in a name

by ethereal_enthusiast



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confessions, Cute, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26400709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereal_enthusiast/pseuds/ethereal_enthusiast
Summary: Cas tells Sam a bit about the history and meaning of Sam's name.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 53





	What's in a name

Sam was very close to dozing off as he opened another news article. He hoped to find a new case, but so far everything looked unusually normal. They'd had troubles finding a case before, but Sam usually didn't care. He usually enjoyed breaks. This time he did not. The week had been difficult and he really needed a distraction from his own thoughts. 

He closed his eyes briefly only to open them about ten minutes later. He took a moment to check the time and read the article he'd opened. Once he knew it wasn't a case, he closed his laptop. He fully intended to sleep, but when he looked up, his eyes met with the bright blue eyes of Castiel, who had apparently showed up while Sam dozed off and had just been staring at him since. 

"Hey, Cas," Sam said, his voice tense, "Dean's not here, so if you're looking for him…"

"I'm not here for Dean,"

"Oh," Sam shifted and glanced at his computer, "then, uh, why are you here? Cause if you don't need anything I'd like to, uh…"

Sam jumped as Cas shoved a copy of the Bible towards him, "I found something."

Sam eyed Cas suspiciously, "Cas, I thought we'd agreed that this was mostly inaccurate and shouldn't be trusted."

"Just look at 1 Samuel 1:20," Cas said, ignoring Sam's confusion.

Sam rolled his eyes, but complied to the request, "'So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son.' Cas…?"

"Just keep reading."

"'She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the Lord for him."' What does this have to do with anything?"

Cas sighed, "Sam, this is the origin and meaning of your name: 'the Lord hears'"

Sam flinched and quickly stood up, "yeah, that's great, Cas. Look, I'm really tired, so I'm just gonna go to bed. I'll see you later, goodnight."

~~~

Cas watched in confusion as Sam left. He had hoped the information about his name would lift Sam's spirits, but Sam left looking more upset than when Cas had arrived. Luckily, Cas knew someone who understood Sam almost as well as Sam understood himself. 

As expected, Dean returned from what Cas guessed was the bar within the next two hours. He seemed a little drunk, but Cas could fix that easily. Dean would be pissed, of course, but it was a small price to pay for improving Sam's mood. Without hesitation, Cas walked up to Dean and cleansed his body of alcohol. 

"What the hell, Cas!! You took away my buzz! Now I need to go back to the bar and…" 

"Dean, I need to speak with you." Cas said before Dean could get too far in his rant.

Dean groaned, "It couldn't have waited 'till tomorrow? I'm tired."

"No," Cas stated firmly, glaring at Dean, "it couldn't have waited until tomorrow." He paused and looked at the door Sam left through, "it's about Sam."

As usual, the mention of his younger brother immediately caught Dean's attention and got him to calm down. He fixed his eyes on Cas as he sat down and motioned for Cas to join him. Once Cas had sat down, he said, "Now, Cas, I want you to be completely honest with me here," Cas nodded, "what exactly happened?" 

"Sam seemed unhappy, so I told him the meaning and origins of his name."

"Ok… which are?"

"His name became popular through the prophet Samuel and means 'the lord hears'."

"Dammit, Cas!" Dean stood up abruptly, "what were you thinking?" 

Cas tilted his head in confusion, "that Sam seemed upset and I wanted him to smile. I already told you this."

Dean groaned and rubbed his forehead as though he had a headache. He did not have a headache, Cas checked. "And you didn't think that might not be the best thing to tell Sam?" Cas shook his head, "Cas, the first thing you did when you met Sam was call him "the boy with demon blood". Sam spent his entire life praying only to find out that God cares less about him than just about any other being in the universe. Sam's name is stupid and... what's that word Sam likes? Oh yeah: Ironic! God doesn't hear Sam and he knows it. It's one of the things that seriously contributes to his self hatred." 

Part way through Dean's speech, Cas had begun feeling a clenching pain in his chest as he realized his mistake. He dropped his head and muttered, "I've made a terrible mistake."

Dean sighed and clenched his jaw to stop himself from yelling, "Yeah, you have. Now you'd better go fix it before I shove your angel blade through your chest." Cas nodded and turned to run to Sam. Before he could go, Dean said, "and Cas, treat him right. You're my best friend, my brother, but if you hurt Sam, I'll hurt you. Got it?" 

Cas nodded even though he didn't 'get it' and ran to Sam's room. 

When he arrived at Sam's door, he heard whimpering and sniffing. It wasn't hard to guess that Sam was crying, but it seemed strange somehow. Both brothers preferred to bottle up their emotions and then release them during a hunt. Of course, Sam had always disliked this method. 

Cas knocked tentatively on Sam's door and waited. The noises on the other side stopped, but there was no other response. Cas tried again. This time, Sam mumbled, "go away, whatever it is can wait." Cas could tell that Sam had intentionally tried to make his voice sound normal, but it was still a little too rough. 

"No, Sam, it cannot wait. Please let me in."

From the other side of the door, Cas heard a sigh and rustling followed by the lock clicking open. "It's unlocked, you can come in."

Cas a deep breath to prepare himself and entered the room. He immediately spotted Sam sitting on the bed. His shoulders were hunched to make him look smaller and his bangs covered his eyes. Through Sam's bangs, Cas thought he could see glimpses of red and swollen eyes. Seeing Sam like this made his chest hurt and he wanted more than anything to protect the man. 

"Sam, I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear earlier. When I told you about the history and meaning of your name, I had intended to make you happy. Instead I hurt you and I regret that, but you didn't let me finish." Sam seemed to perk up at the last statement and he looked up to meet Cas' eyes. 

"What?" His voice was still meek, but Cas thought he heard a hint of hope. 

"Sam, God may not have heard you, but I believe he heard me. Did you know that angels pray?" Sam shook his head, "most angels have never spoken directly with our father, so we pray and hope he hears us. Long ago, when the first humans walked the earth and I was still young, I prayed that my father would give me a human of my own. So that I may protect and love them." He reached forward to take Sam's hands and looked into his eyes, "I'd given up on my prayer until I rescued Dean from hell. At the time, I thought Dean was my answered prayer. While I will protect and love Dean as a brother, he wasn't what I was waiting for. You are. Sam, I've loved you since I began getting to know you. You are my answered prayer. You are my proof that even though my father is, as Dean would say, a dick, he heard my one prayer and answered it. I love you and would like to kiss you now."

And this point, tears were streaming down Sam's cheeks. He didn't think his voice would work, so he just nodded. 

It was neither of their first kiss and it far from awkward, but it wasn't too passionate. It was slow, gentle and full of love. They parted in a few seconds feeling content and safe. Cas leaned forward to kiss Sam's forehead as they layed down and pulled the blanket up to cover them. 

"Sam?" Cas muttered as he combed his fingers through Sam's hair.

"Yeah?" Sam responsded, though it was quiet and sounded more like indistinguishable mumbling due to Sam's head being buried in Cas' chest.

"Before I came here to talk to you, Dean told me to treat you right and that he'd hurt me if I hurt you. Why did he say that? I'm an angel, it would be very hard for him to-"

"Cas," Sam chuckled, lifting his head from Cas' chest. 

"Yes?"

"My brother gave you the shovel talk."

Cas tilted his head in confusion, "I don't understand. I don't remember him mentioning shovels."


End file.
